Women Do The Darndest Things

I was awakened by a surprising phone call this morning at 12:42 am...

"Huuuhhhhlllloooo" (as I'm still trying to grab my bearings)...

"IS THIS BRIAN???"

"yyyeeeaaahhhh"

"THIS IS YOUR BLOG. I'M OUT OF HIBERNATION AND I'M BAAAACCCCKKKKK. NOW WRITE A POST DAMMIT!"

You know it's bad when your blog calls you out in the middle of the night.

And, I thought for sure the heavy dose of tryptophan I fed my blog would have put it out until at least February.

As I went to work this morning at 3am, I happened to hear one of my co-workers talking to another sleep deprived co-worker saying how he went tie shopping with his little son for the first time. Of course, the non makeup wearing, and in this case, scary looking female co-worker responded, "AAAAWWWW!" in the "That's So Adorable" female tone that they give out.

Women love using the "AAAAWWWW". It's their trademark, ALONG with such hits as

"CUUUUTTTTTEEEE"

AND

Crying Over Sappy Romance Movies Where The Guy Finally Falls For The Girl At The End.

I looked up how many other women in the world were going "AAAAWWWW", in that same moment, 243. I need to thank www.fascinatedbytheaaaawwww.com for that stat.

Other things that make a woman go "AAAAWWWW"...

Puppies

Babies

Puppies Kissing Babies

Little Kids Dressed Up At Church

Anytime They Hear One Of Their Female Friends Talk About How Their Significant Other Gave Them Roses, Made Dinner Or An Unexpected Outgoing Of Emotion Displaying Their Love For Their Female Counterparts.

You know when women don't say "AAAAWWWW"...

Any Other Time

Especially when....

Guys Take The Remotes From Their Wives And Explaining "You Don't Need To Watch The Commercials For Keeping Up With The Kardashians, I Need To Check The Football Score."

Guys Mismatch Their Outfits

Guys Forget To Do Something, Which Is Everyday

OR...

Traffic

You will see the sweetest, cutest women LOSE IT in traffic. I don't know if it's because they don't know when they're going to be let out of traffic OR if they're having trouble playing frogger weaving in and out of clogged lanes looking for "the best angle" OR they have to go home and drink wine (that's my wife's excuse).

So, we have a couple lessons to learn today...

Never Mess With A Woman In Traffic When She Has Her Wine Eyes On

Guys, When Shows Such As Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Dancing With The Stars OR The Bachelor Are On...Under No Circumstance Are You Allowed To Take, Touch OR Even Look At The Remote Until Thirty Minutes After The Show Just In Case They're "Processing" What Happened.

Guys, Always Keep A Baby Or Puppy On Hand When You Mess Up. It's The "Forgiving Elixir"

Finally, Turn Your Phone Off When You Go To Sleep