A message to all...we're catching up!

Last week was a big step in our relationship.

For years, Kristen and I have been fighting the urge to be common folk. Going against everyone else's desire and their tenacity to be so informed with what's going on. As if it's SO IMPORTANT to have to know the second something happens with the stock market, Lindsay Lohan or the score of the big game (there's always a big game, so icksnay that). In any case, we've been going against the grain.

Until now...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to Kristen Cumming AND Brian Bachman...

New Owners Of...

The iPhone 4. (Thank you...thank you...you're too kind...I'd like to thank the Academy for making this possible, I'd like to thank God for all His hard work in this area, and I'd like to thank...what honey? No, that's not important. Alright, I'll tell them).

We're technically NOT (using air quotes) complete owners of the iPhone 4.

About eight days ago, or as Kristen would tell you, 8 days, 2 hours and 17 minutes ago, we bought the iPhone 4.

Except for the fact that nearly everyone older than the age of seven, bought the iPhone 4 the week it came out (something like 221 million people, give or take). Apple is still making the phones, yet they, along with AT&T, have no problem taking our money, while we wait for them to make more. When we asked how long it'll take for them to come in, the AT&T guy told us...

"It'll only take a week to get here. We get shipments all the time. I haven't seen it take longer than a week."

About two seconds after we walk out of the store after purchasing our new BFF's, I MEAN, our new phones, (which neither of us will obsess over at all, we will continue to stare lovingly into each other's eyes at restaurants, while everyone else sits next to each other glued face down into their phones), Kristen hops up and down..."WE'RE GETTING IPHONES...WE'RE GETTING IPHONES." Remember that eye staring...loving...we're the only ones that matter to each other thing I was just telling you about...I think every time Kristen hopped, society was slapping common sense into me.

They told us they'd call and email when our bad boys are coming to a new home.

We're not going to take faith in that.

Monday, Kristen calls them, still haven't shipped.

Tuesday, Kristen calls, still haven't shipped.

Wednesday, Kristen picks up the phone, and places a phone call to AT&T. At this point, our guy could probably recognize Kristen's voice, and the two are getting so comfortable, it wouldn't surprise me if he asked how Tucker was doing. Guess what??? Still haven't shipped.

Thursday, Kristen, AT&T...hi, have we met before...Survey Says...(buzzer sounding) STILL HAVEN'T SHIPPED.

Friday,

Kristen: "Honey, can you please call them and ask about our iPhones? They're onto me, and I think they're getting annoyed."

Me: "Sure, love of my life, sweet angel, dream of my dreams. Anything for you." (I talk like that to her all the time)

Pinocchio: "Hey, I want my nose back?"

AT&T: "This is AT&T, how can we tell you in so many ways we don't have a new shipment of iPhones in?"

Me: "Well, let's find out. Do you have our new iPhones in yet?"

Them: "Let me check...(puts phone call on hold)...Hey, Roger, can you believe these idiots? (laughing) Don't they know one week, really means October? Which excuse do you want me to use on these saps? (picks excuse out of hat) It gave me, dog ate your iPhone package? (picks up phone). Sorry, Sir, they still haven't shipped?"

Me: "Can you tell me if UPS and FedEx have arrived today? Oh, they haven't, can you tell me..."

Them: (Interrupting) "We'll call you and email you when they arrive."

You think that's going to deter us?

Two hours later...

Kristen calls, because the packages haven't arrived today. No movement.

Today, phone call to AT&T + our hopes of becoming technologically relevant = no iPhone.

So, that's where we're at.

Kristen couldn't be more excited. She'll have everything at her fingertip. Facebook, the constant updates (the whole thing confuses me), her email, her gossip sites (or at least I assume, she always knows everything happening, well before me). This is the beginning of a Kristen I'm a little frightened to witness; if her constant Verizon bill showing her AT&T calls is proof. But, I know she'll rock an iPhone like no other. In a couple hours, she'll have gone over, around and through the complexities that is a new device. She'll be spinning sites faster than a nine year old texting her BFF's, all the while Kristen will flash a gang sign as she passes them, yelling "BAM!!!"

For me, I've never had Internet on a phone. Probably because I'm worried that it would be so complicated to me, I'd have trouble getting off the main Internet page that would eventually flash, "Please move forward, there's so much more to see."

As I go all day without my email, I'm content. Anything that happens, I'll hear about eventually. But, when I do sit down in front of a computer, I could spend hours on fantasy baseball, Dave Matthews sites or reading anything and everything. The power of "If you put it in front of me, it must be good." Getting an iPhone won't clutter my everyday existence. Yeah right.

Did I tell you, I love iTunes, and my iPod? There's so much I could do with this new phone, but I'll take it slow...no I won't. I'll baby step my way into your world. The iPhone world; think again.

I'll have to, because unless I hire one of the seven year olds to show me how to use the thing, for the first month, all I'll be able to do is dial out. But, at least I'll keep trying.

Here we come world...watch out!