Anyone who knows me knows I love food. Probably half my posts are related to food. It's a true miracle I don't weight 300 pounds and have the cholesterol level of a Samoan guy (quote courtesy to Joe Cowan).
I'm obsessed with food. Kristen sent me a link to our honeymoon hotel in Hawaii.
http://www.hiltonwaikoloavillage.com/
First thing I looked at...
Dining. I want to see all the restaurants they have to offer. That's who I am.
In a little more than two weeks, Kristen and I are flying to Rochester, so my mom can throw her a bridal shower and I will have my bachelor's party in Niagara Falls. Two birds, one stone.
Yesterday, I heard what was on her menu. What's the opposite of mouth watering? Mouth drying? Desert mouth?
Don't get me wrong, the food will be spectacular. It's from a very well known hotel in Rochester, and I know the ladies will love it.
It's just not my cup of tea. Let's take a look at something that I would want...
Wait, it's NOT about me? Really? Oh well, here's what I would want if I was having a Groomsman's shower of food, food and more food...
Garbage plate, a combination of hamburgers, mac salad, potatoes, hot sauce, ketchup, all sitting on top of each other...http://margorabb.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/garbageplate1.jpg
Now, doesn't that look delicious?
Or, a contest to see who can eat a 30" pizza the quickest.
Or, all you can eat barbecue.
Or a five pound burrito? That would be awesome!!
See a trend here.
Kristen's menu...
Pistachio crusted chicken. I know all the ladies are saying, "HMMMM!!!!" Why put pistachios on chicken, when you can douse it with barbecue sauce? That's ridiculous.
A mixed green salad. Why mix greens into anything? That just stops the process of seeing how much one can eat at any given time.
And the topper...
Lemon Chaffon Cake.
I think the word "Chaffon" in French means "Air". Why have an Air Cake?
Let's have a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Cheesecake with Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. That's my kind of dessert. With milkshakes.
I wonder why my stomach hurts at night. Must be all the water I drink. I told them no tap water.
Again, I know it will be amazing for the ladies. I'm not dissing my mom. I'm dissing the bridal shower system. Let's give the ladies some Five Guys Burgers. Multiple hamburgers, unlimited toppings of mushrooms, red onions, fried onions, bacon, lettuce (see you can have greens), mayonnaise, hot sauce, ketchup, whatever. An entire bag's worth of fries. Now we're talking. I'm going to ambush the shower with Five Guys.
On second thought, that might be rude to my mother. So, I won't. But, only because I love my mother.
Instead, I'm going to bridal shower crash someone I don't know. Walk in with bags of grease..."LADIES, who wants some Five Guys?" They'll look at me like I'm George Clooney. Or Justin Bieber if it's a teenage bridal shower. Hey, have you seen those shows on MTV? There's more out there than you think.
Kristen wouldn't want this for her shower. She likes what my mom chooses. So, it works out for everyone.
However, I'm seeing a trend of Men Eat Whatever They Want (until they're married) vs Women Who Mix In Greens. Once I say, "I Do", I know Kristen will throw a plate of greens my way (I'll ask what that red thing is, she'll say it's a tomato), and throw out all my burrito punch cards. But, I was so close to my third time of getting a free burrito after ten purchases. It's to the point, I'm having conversations with the general manager of the store.
So, until the "I Do", please don't send me any chaffon. I have a mouth to water.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Major Wedding Plans Update
Kristen and I have a major announcement to share with everyone and thought it best to put on the blog. For something as important as this, we know it's proper to call everyone and share this news (because it affects all the people going to our wedding). However, it's just too difficult to individually call everyone we care about. And it's because we care about those same people, that we feel it's important enough to tell you at the same time.
So, with sad hearts, we are here to tell you...
Kristen and I have decided it's in our best interest to....
Have cupcakes at our wedding.
Sad hearts, maybe for everyone else who loves wedding cake, but for us, suck it wedding cake. We've known you for 20 years, and we want to know you no longer. Another tombstone...
Wedding Cake
Beginning of time to May 25, 2010
You filled us with sugary goodness for years, but lack in taste.
I'm glad to get a shovel, heck I'll get a bulldozer so I can pound dirt on your casket, quick enough so I don't have to see you again.
This is a cupcake birth and we're holding our own pile of sugary goodness. Smile sweet heart as we take pictures with our cupcake babies.
OK, that may be going a bit too far, but I ask you this...
Have you tasted these cupcakes?
The creator...SweetbyHolly. Website: www.sweetbyholly.com
We've ordered 360 mini cupcakes (think two bites and bring your eat on, especially considering my boy Timmy can't have them...sorry Timmy) with nine different flavors. Going in for a tasting, this was more exciting to me than anything else we've done. I love sweets so much, that I'm the same guy who puts out cookies for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve night, in the hopes that my dad won't eat ALL of them, so I can have a couple in the morning.
(Announcer voice)..."AND NOW....FOR YOUR EATING PLEASURE...HERE ARE YOUR NINE FLAVORS...."
Black and White cake...chocolate cake, white chips, swirled frosting. Kristen's favorite.
Black Out...dark chocolate cake and frosting, chocolate vermicelli (I have no idea what that word means. She made that up. But it sounds great with the word chocolate in front of it. This is when all the ladies reading this nod, "You're right...chocolate...)
Boston Cream...yellow cake, vanilla buttercream, chocolate ganache, cream filling. This is going to have "B" in orange on top signifying either my last name or "Best Buddy" for her "best buddy" in Gainesville. Best Buddy will be prominently shown in our wedding with "Best Buddy" cupcakes and we can't take out this booty shaking song, it's "Best Buddy and my favorite dance"...hmmm...I've heard that for like five songs. Why haven't I picked up on that yet?
Carrot...spiced cake, walnuts, raisins, cream cheese frosting.
Cookies and cream...white cake, vanilla buttercream, crushed oreos and cream filling.
Peanut Butter...chocolate peanut butter swirled cake and frosting. Reese's chunk on top.
Red Velvet...traditional red cake, cream cheese frosting, dark chocolate curls. Again, no idea what a "curl" is, but we're all seduced with "chocolate". It could say "chocolate shoe" and we'd all..."WOW...that's amazing. I've never tried shoe before."
White Out...white cake, white chocolate buttercream, white chocolate vermicelli (there's THAT word again).
And finally, last but certainly not least...
Tiramisu...espresso soaked cake, cream cheese frosting, dark chocolate curls.
So, there you have them. Your dessert starting lineup everyone. Take pictures as they stand there, ready to get ASSAULTED by the sweet tooth in all of us.
Except my mom. She'll probably have bread for dinner. (Shaking my head). So sad. If she only knew...
So, with sad hearts, we are here to tell you...
Kristen and I have decided it's in our best interest to....
Have cupcakes at our wedding.
Sad hearts, maybe for everyone else who loves wedding cake, but for us, suck it wedding cake. We've known you for 20 years, and we want to know you no longer. Another tombstone...
Wedding Cake
Beginning of time to May 25, 2010
You filled us with sugary goodness for years, but lack in taste.
I'm glad to get a shovel, heck I'll get a bulldozer so I can pound dirt on your casket, quick enough so I don't have to see you again.
This is a cupcake birth and we're holding our own pile of sugary goodness. Smile sweet heart as we take pictures with our cupcake babies.
OK, that may be going a bit too far, but I ask you this...
Have you tasted these cupcakes?
The creator...SweetbyHolly. Website: www.sweetbyholly.com
We've ordered 360 mini cupcakes (think two bites and bring your eat on, especially considering my boy Timmy can't have them...sorry Timmy) with nine different flavors. Going in for a tasting, this was more exciting to me than anything else we've done. I love sweets so much, that I'm the same guy who puts out cookies for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve night, in the hopes that my dad won't eat ALL of them, so I can have a couple in the morning.
(Announcer voice)..."AND NOW....FOR YOUR EATING PLEASURE...HERE ARE YOUR NINE FLAVORS...."
Black and White cake...chocolate cake, white chips, swirled frosting. Kristen's favorite.
Black Out...dark chocolate cake and frosting, chocolate vermicelli (I have no idea what that word means. She made that up. But it sounds great with the word chocolate in front of it. This is when all the ladies reading this nod, "You're right...chocolate...)
Boston Cream...yellow cake, vanilla buttercream, chocolate ganache, cream filling. This is going to have "B" in orange on top signifying either my last name or "Best Buddy" for her "best buddy" in Gainesville. Best Buddy will be prominently shown in our wedding with "Best Buddy" cupcakes and we can't take out this booty shaking song, it's "Best Buddy and my favorite dance"...hmmm...I've heard that for like five songs. Why haven't I picked up on that yet?
Carrot...spiced cake, walnuts, raisins, cream cheese frosting.
Cookies and cream...white cake, vanilla buttercream, crushed oreos and cream filling.
Peanut Butter...chocolate peanut butter swirled cake and frosting. Reese's chunk on top.
Red Velvet...traditional red cake, cream cheese frosting, dark chocolate curls. Again, no idea what a "curl" is, but we're all seduced with "chocolate". It could say "chocolate shoe" and we'd all..."WOW...that's amazing. I've never tried shoe before."
White Out...white cake, white chocolate buttercream, white chocolate vermicelli (there's THAT word again).
And finally, last but certainly not least...
Tiramisu...espresso soaked cake, cream cheese frosting, dark chocolate curls.
So, there you have them. Your dessert starting lineup everyone. Take pictures as they stand there, ready to get ASSAULTED by the sweet tooth in all of us.
Except my mom. She'll probably have bread for dinner. (Shaking my head). So sad. If she only knew...
Sunday, May 23, 2010
LOST FINALE
SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My six year relationship with Lost ended ten minutes ago.
On the tombstone, it should say
LOST
Proud Entertainment Father For Those Who Look For More In A TV Show
September 22,2004 - May 23,2010
Now, that it's over, I'm standing at the funeral, shovel in hand, dirt on casket, watching it completely cover up my dream series in a television show.
Was it everything I hoped for?
I'm not sure. About two months ago, I ranted about how I wanted the show to move along, answer more questions and in some way, they did. The last five episodes really gave insight into the origins of the island. It answered the Jacob question, the birth of the Smoke Monster, and it killed off some major characters such as Sun, Jin and Widmore.
But now, what do I do? I'm forced to dissect what actually happened rather than the creators tell us what. And with that, I can't right now. I'm too confused. I'm going to walk around Monday morning with my "Who Watched Lost Last Night?" t-shirt and strike up some conversations so I can figure out what's going on.
I'll come back with more rants about the show on Monday, but until then, I'm Lost.
My six year relationship with Lost ended ten minutes ago.
On the tombstone, it should say
LOST
Proud Entertainment Father For Those Who Look For More In A TV Show
September 22,2004 - May 23,2010
Now, that it's over, I'm standing at the funeral, shovel in hand, dirt on casket, watching it completely cover up my dream series in a television show.
Was it everything I hoped for?
I'm not sure. About two months ago, I ranted about how I wanted the show to move along, answer more questions and in some way, they did. The last five episodes really gave insight into the origins of the island. It answered the Jacob question, the birth of the Smoke Monster, and it killed off some major characters such as Sun, Jin and Widmore.
But now, what do I do? I'm forced to dissect what actually happened rather than the creators tell us what. And with that, I can't right now. I'm too confused. I'm going to walk around Monday morning with my "Who Watched Lost Last Night?" t-shirt and strike up some conversations so I can figure out what's going on.
I'll come back with more rants about the show on Monday, but until then, I'm Lost.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Hello Man vs Food...I'd like to throw my hat into the ring
Family Health...
401 K...
Work...
All of these things are very important to almost everyone. You know what's not?
The amount of food I can stuff into my stomach in a short amount of time.
As many of you have seen Man vs Food host, Adam Richman, travel around the country and take restaurants' epic challenges...eating a seven and a half pound burrito...a hamburger consisting of twelve patties...downing fifteen milkshakes in an hour...you get the idea. I used to envy this guy. Everyone raise their hands on who would want to try these challenges.
(Looking around)
Why am I the only one with my hand up. And why am I yelling, "Pick me...PICK ME!!!"
However, after last night, I had an epiphany. The thing Travel Channel doesn't tell you is that Adam is getting bigger and bigger.. His waist is slowly becoming a new Travel Channel 3-D show, where you see his waist line expand into your living room. Next season they're coming out with a new show...Man vs Heart Transplant.
But, for one brief moment in time, I had a glisten in my eye that Adam understands. The moment was...
Daytona Beach Cubs Belly Buster Night.
It had everything that I love...
Kristen (I wanted her there in case I needed an immediate ride to the hospital)
Baseball
Food
More food
Food on top of Food
Let me give you a little background. This week has been tough for me. I've been working morning show which means I'm waking up at 2am and if you think, I'm going to bed before 10pm, that's cute, I should introduce myself to you again (upon reading this, the universe will immediately guarantee a 1500 mile phone call from my mother in New York that will go something like this, "Brian, you really need to get some sleep." "OK Mom." "Brian, you need sleep, it's very important. You don't get enough sleep. I wish you would sleep more. Are you listening? Sleep...SLEEP!!" "OK, Mom" "That's it I'm calling Kristen.")
With that said, I decided to go hard, instead of going home. I knew that I would have an eventual stomach ache after minimal sleep the next day, but how often will I have a chance to eat the following...all unlimited and all free...
Popcorn
Peanuts
Hamburgers
Hot Dogs
Pizza
Fish Dip
Artichoke Dip
Beer (because Kristen's friend has a "hook up")
Oh, and unlimited steak off the grill (same "hook up", who will be getting a nice shiny Christmas card this year).
May 17th, 2010 will forever be remembered as the day I entered the gates of culinary heaven.
In a span of ten minutes, I whipped around like an eight year old kid at Toys R Us (back in the 1990s of course. No kid wants to go there now. They all want iPhones.)
Artichoke Dip, check.
Fish Dip....good...check.
Hamburgers, I could have gotten five hamburgers in one bun, again it's unlimited...but settled for one...check (pacing myself).
Feeling stronger after that, move to hot dog...good...check.
Peanuts, hmmm...takes more time to snap open and eat, not a lot of food content, but I should mix something smaller in, gives me a little time for digestion...check.
So, after ten minutes, I'm two beers and a pound of food in. At this point, I'm wishing my buddy Timmy was here, who can pack more food in than a bear at the zoo. Watching him eat barbecue....or cheese less pizza (don't ask)...or multiple garbage plates (http://img301.imageshack.us/i/rochester-n-y_is-the-garbage_plate.jpg/) this should all be on everyone's bucket list. We'll call it Timmy Grazing. Next time I'm in upstate New York, I'm setting a web camera at his dinner table and he's going to call me right before big culinary events and I'll put it online. You'll find yourself wearing Timmy t-shirts, chanting his name from home.
Unfortunately, no one chants your name here. Except for the motivational speech I was giving myself, "You can do this Brian. This food doesn't OWN you. You OWN them. Now go and get what's yours." In hindsight, does "yours" signify a medal, a celebration or a night hovering around the toilet. Hmmm...
I go back for a second hamburger. Still good.
No pizza yet. They're coming back with more. I'll wait.
Go up and watch a couple innings of the game. Yeah, a game was actually going on. I thought I was in the middle of a free cafeteria, but I was wrong. Sat about eight rows away from home plate. Of course, it's general admission and not a bad view from a 4000 seat house that sits a mile away from the ocean, so what's not to like.
After a couple innings, I go back. Maybe it was all the food that was taunting me as people were walking to their seats. "Brian...Brian....BRIAN!!!" I could hear them. I OWN you!
Pizza's back. Give me some of that. Two slices. I saw someone walk away with five. That's my style. However, I wanted a third hamburger to carry back and didn't want to drop any food (it's like I was a football coach drawing up X's and O's, there's a survival mentality to this). Oh, and let's grab a box of popcorn.
Back to the seats where my third beer awaits, along with my pizza, burger and popcorn.
Now I'm good. About two pounds in, three beers later, six hours until I have to go back to work. All is good with the world. Until...
Kristen's friend's boyfriend or her "KFBF" runs stadium operations which means we can do whatever we want for the most part. This includes throwing down a full steak an hour later, with potatoes. A full dinner, after a gorge fest, five hours before I'm supposed to arrive at work. I threw down that steak like a prize fighter slugging it out in the 11th round. I'm just trying to get to the decision and leave it up to the judges.
Every piece going in is a fight, that I'm always excited about on paper. In real life, my excitement wanes like when that eight year old kid's iPhone breaks.
I finish it. And there's more if I want it. I've always wanted to eat unlimited steak. Seriously. Ever since I was 11. This was my time. However, with an hour's drive back to Orlando, and my spastic colon on "Thunderstorm Warning", it was best for me to bow to the crowd and move on.
So, let's recap...
Box of Popcorn
Peanuts
Little Italian Ice
Steak
Potatoes
Three Hamburgers
Hot Dog
Slice of Pizza
Fish Dip
Artichoke Dip
Four Beers
Safe to say when I woke up, after two hours of sleep, I was foodover. I didn't eat until ten hours into my day.
Here's the point...whenever you have unlimited food and beer, tread carefully. There has to be a method to the madness. If you go in guns blazing, you'll wind up doubled over, hugging a garbage can. No one wants that noise. Especially the garbage can.
However, Timmy if you want a challenge, it's July 5th, back in Daytona for another belly buster. We're eyeing a rematch. Hide the women, kids and garbage cans.
401 K...
Work...
All of these things are very important to almost everyone. You know what's not?
The amount of food I can stuff into my stomach in a short amount of time.
As many of you have seen Man vs Food host, Adam Richman, travel around the country and take restaurants' epic challenges...eating a seven and a half pound burrito...a hamburger consisting of twelve patties...downing fifteen milkshakes in an hour...you get the idea. I used to envy this guy. Everyone raise their hands on who would want to try these challenges.
(Looking around)
Why am I the only one with my hand up. And why am I yelling, "Pick me...PICK ME!!!"
However, after last night, I had an epiphany. The thing Travel Channel doesn't tell you is that Adam is getting bigger and bigger.. His waist is slowly becoming a new Travel Channel 3-D show, where you see his waist line expand into your living room. Next season they're coming out with a new show...Man vs Heart Transplant.
But, for one brief moment in time, I had a glisten in my eye that Adam understands. The moment was...
Daytona Beach Cubs Belly Buster Night.
It had everything that I love...
Kristen (I wanted her there in case I needed an immediate ride to the hospital)
Baseball
Food
More food
Food on top of Food
Let me give you a little background. This week has been tough for me. I've been working morning show which means I'm waking up at 2am and if you think, I'm going to bed before 10pm, that's cute, I should introduce myself to you again (upon reading this, the universe will immediately guarantee a 1500 mile phone call from my mother in New York that will go something like this, "Brian, you really need to get some sleep." "OK Mom." "Brian, you need sleep, it's very important. You don't get enough sleep. I wish you would sleep more. Are you listening? Sleep...SLEEP!!" "OK, Mom" "That's it I'm calling Kristen.")
With that said, I decided to go hard, instead of going home. I knew that I would have an eventual stomach ache after minimal sleep the next day, but how often will I have a chance to eat the following...all unlimited and all free...
Popcorn
Peanuts
Hamburgers
Hot Dogs
Pizza
Fish Dip
Artichoke Dip
Beer (because Kristen's friend has a "hook up")
Oh, and unlimited steak off the grill (same "hook up", who will be getting a nice shiny Christmas card this year).
May 17th, 2010 will forever be remembered as the day I entered the gates of culinary heaven.
In a span of ten minutes, I whipped around like an eight year old kid at Toys R Us (back in the 1990s of course. No kid wants to go there now. They all want iPhones.)
Artichoke Dip, check.
Fish Dip....good...check.
Hamburgers, I could have gotten five hamburgers in one bun, again it's unlimited...but settled for one...check (pacing myself).
Feeling stronger after that, move to hot dog...good...check.
Peanuts, hmmm...takes more time to snap open and eat, not a lot of food content, but I should mix something smaller in, gives me a little time for digestion...check.
So, after ten minutes, I'm two beers and a pound of food in. At this point, I'm wishing my buddy Timmy was here, who can pack more food in than a bear at the zoo. Watching him eat barbecue....or cheese less pizza (don't ask)...or multiple garbage plates (http://img301.imageshack.us/i/rochester-n-y_is-the-garbage_plate.jpg/) this should all be on everyone's bucket list. We'll call it Timmy Grazing. Next time I'm in upstate New York, I'm setting a web camera at his dinner table and he's going to call me right before big culinary events and I'll put it online. You'll find yourself wearing Timmy t-shirts, chanting his name from home.
Unfortunately, no one chants your name here. Except for the motivational speech I was giving myself, "You can do this Brian. This food doesn't OWN you. You OWN them. Now go and get what's yours." In hindsight, does "yours" signify a medal, a celebration or a night hovering around the toilet. Hmmm...
I go back for a second hamburger. Still good.
No pizza yet. They're coming back with more. I'll wait.
Go up and watch a couple innings of the game. Yeah, a game was actually going on. I thought I was in the middle of a free cafeteria, but I was wrong. Sat about eight rows away from home plate. Of course, it's general admission and not a bad view from a 4000 seat house that sits a mile away from the ocean, so what's not to like.
After a couple innings, I go back. Maybe it was all the food that was taunting me as people were walking to their seats. "Brian...Brian....BRIAN!!!" I could hear them. I OWN you!
Pizza's back. Give me some of that. Two slices. I saw someone walk away with five. That's my style. However, I wanted a third hamburger to carry back and didn't want to drop any food (it's like I was a football coach drawing up X's and O's, there's a survival mentality to this). Oh, and let's grab a box of popcorn.
Back to the seats where my third beer awaits, along with my pizza, burger and popcorn.
Now I'm good. About two pounds in, three beers later, six hours until I have to go back to work. All is good with the world. Until...
Kristen's friend's boyfriend or her "KFBF" runs stadium operations which means we can do whatever we want for the most part. This includes throwing down a full steak an hour later, with potatoes. A full dinner, after a gorge fest, five hours before I'm supposed to arrive at work. I threw down that steak like a prize fighter slugging it out in the 11th round. I'm just trying to get to the decision and leave it up to the judges.
Every piece going in is a fight, that I'm always excited about on paper. In real life, my excitement wanes like when that eight year old kid's iPhone breaks.
I finish it. And there's more if I want it. I've always wanted to eat unlimited steak. Seriously. Ever since I was 11. This was my time. However, with an hour's drive back to Orlando, and my spastic colon on "Thunderstorm Warning", it was best for me to bow to the crowd and move on.
So, let's recap...
Box of Popcorn
Peanuts
Little Italian Ice
Steak
Potatoes
Three Hamburgers
Hot Dog
Slice of Pizza
Fish Dip
Artichoke Dip
Four Beers
Safe to say when I woke up, after two hours of sleep, I was foodover. I didn't eat until ten hours into my day.
Here's the point...whenever you have unlimited food and beer, tread carefully. There has to be a method to the madness. If you go in guns blazing, you'll wind up doubled over, hugging a garbage can. No one wants that noise. Especially the garbage can.
However, Timmy if you want a challenge, it's July 5th, back in Daytona for another belly buster. We're eyeing a rematch. Hide the women, kids and garbage cans.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Living in a fantasyland
Anyone who knows me knows I love many things...
Kristen - I get extra points for putting her first. Come on over sometime and we'll show you the scoreboard.
My family - even though I question their sanity because they live in Rochester where there's two months of warm weather a year.
Florida - beaches, Disney World, sun, what's not to like.
Eating - so does my waistline.
Sports - Yankees, Syracuse basketball
Dave Matthews - the 200+ shows I have of them should prove my disease to you.
And...
Fantasy sports.
It came so casually. Back in 2005, I participated in my first fantasy baseball league. Some friends and I were fantasy connectors through the Internet. I was very nervous during the draft. I wanted to make sure I didn't draft a player who's ACL's were blown off his body during the offseason and my baseball magazine didn't reflect such a change to that man's physique. When that happens, and it usually does at least once in every draft, guys are laughed at mercilessly. It doesn't matter if you draft online. You can hear the cackles, states away.
We played with ten owners and if memory serves me correctly, I won that league. Beginner's luck for the first couple months. Then, nervously watching with one eyed closed, every night, for the last month. And if you think this doesn't happen most of the time to someone who wins a league, you're fooling yourselves on how important this game is.
Ask my father. Up until two years ago, he was a normal man with a normal job and a normal lifestyle. Now, he goes to work, stops by the Little League park and comes home to meet up with his mistress...his laptop computer. From there, he logs onto espn.com, or mlb.com or yankees.com or whatever dotcom he can find to give him the most up to date stats on "his family". He studies his "sons", agonizes over at bats, wonders if one of his family members only has a couple hits in a week, if he should give them their walking papers and pick up a foster child. Every once in awhile, Mom has to remind him to eat his dinner.
And Dad is like most Americans playing fantasy anything. It's a land all to our own. It's like for a couple hours everyday, living in Vegas. Put aside work...stress...taking out the trash. We focus on one thing. And, since we're so one track minded, there could be smoke coming out the back of the house, and we'd wait to leave, hoping our pitcher gets out of this bases loaded jam.
I play fantasy baseball/football/basketball. Three sports, that take me year round. I don't invest my time anymore in college basketball. Never participated in hockey/golf/bowling volleyball/cricket/polo/horse racing/speed eating, but with a little convincing I could see myself doing any of those. Especially the speed eating.
We all want to feel part of a team. That's why so many of us played sports when we were younger. We like the competition. In guys, there's a hormone called ego, where we feel the need to beat everyone, regardless of what it is. For example, if we get into a different supermarket line, at the same time as another guy, we want to beat him out the store. We get so into it, we start internally yelling at the 75 year old woman in front of us, slowly pulling out her coupons for laundry detergent, while we see the "other guy" getting to the cashier before us. I mean, how long does it take to pull out coupons? Oh, NOW SHE'S WRITING A CHECK!!! And she can't find a pen. Fantastic!!! Now, the guy's done and he's dusting me as he walks out. And he's thinking the same thing, "I worked that guy."
Fantasy baseball is six months out of the year. So much time is involved that shortly after the season, I write good bye and good luck letters to all my players, as they head into the offseason. If they only knew how much I loved and yet hated them during the season.
Right now, I have 11 fantasy baseball teams. Some might have more, most have less. During the two weeks leading up to the season, I had what some psychologists like to call a "Fantasy Baseball Draft Addiction". What?!? You mean, I shouldn't get so much joy out of just picking players. But, all the endless possibilities I could have with them. I could drop them from my roster, I could bench them for the day, in my mind I could wash celebratory champagne over them as they had the game winning hit. So many things. And who cares if it takes me a solid hour to manage those lineups every couple days? Will I get sick of it? Probably. Does my head need to be examined? DEFINITELY!
So, I say to you David Wright, and Kendry Morales and Tommy Hanson, I'm not going to stalk you. I don't have the money to fly all over the country and hand you out some "I Represent Brian Bachman" t-shirts with my smiling face on them. But, aren't you a little jealous of Kristen, who got that same shirt for Valentine's Day? I thought so.
Kristen - I get extra points for putting her first. Come on over sometime and we'll show you the scoreboard.
My family - even though I question their sanity because they live in Rochester where there's two months of warm weather a year.
Florida - beaches, Disney World, sun, what's not to like.
Eating - so does my waistline.
Sports - Yankees, Syracuse basketball
Dave Matthews - the 200+ shows I have of them should prove my disease to you.
And...
Fantasy sports.
It came so casually. Back in 2005, I participated in my first fantasy baseball league. Some friends and I were fantasy connectors through the Internet. I was very nervous during the draft. I wanted to make sure I didn't draft a player who's ACL's were blown off his body during the offseason and my baseball magazine didn't reflect such a change to that man's physique. When that happens, and it usually does at least once in every draft, guys are laughed at mercilessly. It doesn't matter if you draft online. You can hear the cackles, states away.
We played with ten owners and if memory serves me correctly, I won that league. Beginner's luck for the first couple months. Then, nervously watching with one eyed closed, every night, for the last month. And if you think this doesn't happen most of the time to someone who wins a league, you're fooling yourselves on how important this game is.
Ask my father. Up until two years ago, he was a normal man with a normal job and a normal lifestyle. Now, he goes to work, stops by the Little League park and comes home to meet up with his mistress...his laptop computer. From there, he logs onto espn.com, or mlb.com or yankees.com or whatever dotcom he can find to give him the most up to date stats on "his family". He studies his "sons", agonizes over at bats, wonders if one of his family members only has a couple hits in a week, if he should give them their walking papers and pick up a foster child. Every once in awhile, Mom has to remind him to eat his dinner.
And Dad is like most Americans playing fantasy anything. It's a land all to our own. It's like for a couple hours everyday, living in Vegas. Put aside work...stress...taking out the trash. We focus on one thing. And, since we're so one track minded, there could be smoke coming out the back of the house, and we'd wait to leave, hoping our pitcher gets out of this bases loaded jam.
I play fantasy baseball/football/basketball. Three sports, that take me year round. I don't invest my time anymore in college basketball. Never participated in hockey/golf/bowling volleyball/cricket/polo/horse racing/speed eating, but with a little convincing I could see myself doing any of those. Especially the speed eating.
We all want to feel part of a team. That's why so many of us played sports when we were younger. We like the competition. In guys, there's a hormone called ego, where we feel the need to beat everyone, regardless of what it is. For example, if we get into a different supermarket line, at the same time as another guy, we want to beat him out the store. We get so into it, we start internally yelling at the 75 year old woman in front of us, slowly pulling out her coupons for laundry detergent, while we see the "other guy" getting to the cashier before us. I mean, how long does it take to pull out coupons? Oh, NOW SHE'S WRITING A CHECK!!! And she can't find a pen. Fantastic!!! Now, the guy's done and he's dusting me as he walks out. And he's thinking the same thing, "I worked that guy."
Fantasy baseball is six months out of the year. So much time is involved that shortly after the season, I write good bye and good luck letters to all my players, as they head into the offseason. If they only knew how much I loved and yet hated them during the season.
Right now, I have 11 fantasy baseball teams. Some might have more, most have less. During the two weeks leading up to the season, I had what some psychologists like to call a "Fantasy Baseball Draft Addiction". What?!? You mean, I shouldn't get so much joy out of just picking players. But, all the endless possibilities I could have with them. I could drop them from my roster, I could bench them for the day, in my mind I could wash celebratory champagne over them as they had the game winning hit. So many things. And who cares if it takes me a solid hour to manage those lineups every couple days? Will I get sick of it? Probably. Does my head need to be examined? DEFINITELY!
So, I say to you David Wright, and Kendry Morales and Tommy Hanson, I'm not going to stalk you. I don't have the money to fly all over the country and hand you out some "I Represent Brian Bachman" t-shirts with my smiling face on them. But, aren't you a little jealous of Kristen, who got that same shirt for Valentine's Day? I thought so.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Who Knew I Could Look That Good
Our engagement pictures are up.
Kristen's BFF, Ashley McCormick, our wedding photographer put up our pictures. We spent about three hours getting photographed at the Lake County Fair. Over 600 pictures were taken. Kristen and I are very happy with what we've seen so far. Haven't gotten the rest of the pictures, but here's a sample that wet our appetite for the time being.
http://www.ashleymccormickphotography.com/blog/
On the main page, scroll down to 4.22.10
Please comment on this post and let us know what you think.
Kristen's BFF, Ashley McCormick, our wedding photographer put up our pictures. We spent about three hours getting photographed at the Lake County Fair. Over 600 pictures were taken. Kristen and I are very happy with what we've seen so far. Haven't gotten the rest of the pictures, but here's a sample that wet our appetite for the time being.
http://www.ashleymccormickphotography.com/blog/
On the main page, scroll down to 4.22.10
Please comment on this post and let us know what you think.
When Eating Became A Chore
Come across any playground and you'll see two different scenarios.
One...boys running up and down the slide, hanging on monkey bars, planting other kids' faces in the mud and telling them "EAT IT!!!".
The second...girls on the swings, picking flowers and playing with their hair. I gotta imagine some of them are picturing their wedding day. How they'll look, how happy they are, make sure not to walk too fast down the aisle, etc.
When I was a kid, I was fat. Not "chubby", "beefy", "rotund", out and out "FAT". So much so that friends wanted me to say the word "brownie" and when I couldn't pronounce my "r's" and would come out "bwownie", they would laugh. And I liked bwownie's so it made sense.
So, on the playground as a FAT kid, I would think about food. How much did my mom pack for me? Was it the SpiderMan or Hulk thermos? Did I have any trade-able items where I could get some Oreo's back? If there was a fantasy draft of food in those years, Oreo's would always be a Top 3 pick, year in and year out.
Back then, I would have thought it heaven...a situation where I could eat a ton of food for free. You get great service, they ask you what you want to eat. What could be better than that?
That is what it's like going after a caterer for a wedding, and I couldn't have been more wrong.
When we decided to start wedding planning, I wanted caterers to be one of the first things we did. I wanted to walk into the catereres with shirts I made up, that said, "FEED ME!!!" And boy, did that first caterer do just that.
They brought out 23 different items for us to eat. I ate, and ate, and ate, and ate and ate and ate and ate. And I loved it. But, you have to try at least a couple different caterers so you know what you're playing with.
Second caterer gave us eight items to eat, but their food, rocked. Sauces, good. Cheese fondue, good. Meat, good. I wanted to sign my life away at that point and go with them.
But, then you get into the long, drawn out process of catering. The negotiations of the pricing.
What industry has items that you could purchase, but with no outright purchase price? Wedding catering. Go on any catering website, and you won't see any prices on their menus. If the original implication was that it's free, they'll laugh at you.
We told them our budget, and our favorite four word phrase for the following two months..."Out The Door Price", and it's almost as if they're quasi-listening. I know, I do it all the time.
Our OTDP was immediately jacked up $300 over, after you include bar setup, station attended carver, service charge, tax, parking, concession, ticket charge, dog wash, and charge for hand sanitizers.
We would get back to them, "Our OTDP is $...", and they'd get it closer, but not really. They start cutting things out. Now, here's my problem, they're cutting out my "Bwownie's". What?!?! Now, you're taking out food. We told you our OTDP originally, you told us we could have all these things, now my "Bwownie's" are walking out the door...bring them back.
Now, we've opened it up to more caterers. The next four caterers had the following issues...
Bad taste in decorating
Bad taste in food
Too expensive
Too little to taste at the tasting
Too far apart on negotiations
We'd call up caterers and one of the first things we'd tell them, "Our OTDP is $...", and some wouldn't even talk to us. We weren't enough for them.
I was getting very down. How could eating be a detriment at this point? At least three nights out of the week, we were either going to a tasting, or looking up other caterers. I felt we were getting farther and farther away from our goal of a quality caterer that doesn't break our bank (considering catering is the most expensive item on wedding day).
Finally, after two months of searching, we found our caterer. Love them. Creations by Chef Aaron. Won Best Catering 2009 for Central Florida in The Knot. Great crab fondue, great meat, great pasta station. I think everyone will be pleased. Feel free to check out their website.
www.orlandocateringbychefaaron.com
Aaron is super nice, and I'm very comfortable it will be a great eating experience. Because in the end, isn't that what most guys remember when attending someone else's wedding.
Also, instead of an original wedding cake, we're going to have different varieties and flavors of cupcakes. We're tasting those next. That will be fun! And your nominees are...
www.sweetbyholly.com
www.cupcakecrazyorlando.com
And a third that I can't remember, because I was told about it after being up for 20 straight hours.
So, we're done with our big vendors. Thank God. Now, onto little things that I have no idea about like...
Flowers
Color Theme
Wedding songs
165 days to go.
But who's counting...
One...boys running up and down the slide, hanging on monkey bars, planting other kids' faces in the mud and telling them "EAT IT!!!".
The second...girls on the swings, picking flowers and playing with their hair. I gotta imagine some of them are picturing their wedding day. How they'll look, how happy they are, make sure not to walk too fast down the aisle, etc.
When I was a kid, I was fat. Not "chubby", "beefy", "rotund", out and out "FAT". So much so that friends wanted me to say the word "brownie" and when I couldn't pronounce my "r's" and would come out "bwownie", they would laugh. And I liked bwownie's so it made sense.
So, on the playground as a FAT kid, I would think about food. How much did my mom pack for me? Was it the SpiderMan or Hulk thermos? Did I have any trade-able items where I could get some Oreo's back? If there was a fantasy draft of food in those years, Oreo's would always be a Top 3 pick, year in and year out.
Back then, I would have thought it heaven...a situation where I could eat a ton of food for free. You get great service, they ask you what you want to eat. What could be better than that?
That is what it's like going after a caterer for a wedding, and I couldn't have been more wrong.
When we decided to start wedding planning, I wanted caterers to be one of the first things we did. I wanted to walk into the catereres with shirts I made up, that said, "FEED ME!!!" And boy, did that first caterer do just that.
They brought out 23 different items for us to eat. I ate, and ate, and ate, and ate and ate and ate and ate. And I loved it. But, you have to try at least a couple different caterers so you know what you're playing with.
Second caterer gave us eight items to eat, but their food, rocked. Sauces, good. Cheese fondue, good. Meat, good. I wanted to sign my life away at that point and go with them.
But, then you get into the long, drawn out process of catering. The negotiations of the pricing.
What industry has items that you could purchase, but with no outright purchase price? Wedding catering. Go on any catering website, and you won't see any prices on their menus. If the original implication was that it's free, they'll laugh at you.
We told them our budget, and our favorite four word phrase for the following two months..."Out The Door Price", and it's almost as if they're quasi-listening. I know, I do it all the time.
Our OTDP was immediately jacked up $300 over, after you include bar setup, station attended carver, service charge, tax, parking, concession, ticket charge, dog wash, and charge for hand sanitizers.
We would get back to them, "Our OTDP is $...", and they'd get it closer, but not really. They start cutting things out. Now, here's my problem, they're cutting out my "Bwownie's". What?!?! Now, you're taking out food. We told you our OTDP originally, you told us we could have all these things, now my "Bwownie's" are walking out the door...bring them back.
Now, we've opened it up to more caterers. The next four caterers had the following issues...
Bad taste in decorating
Bad taste in food
Too expensive
Too little to taste at the tasting
Too far apart on negotiations
We'd call up caterers and one of the first things we'd tell them, "Our OTDP is $...", and some wouldn't even talk to us. We weren't enough for them.
I was getting very down. How could eating be a detriment at this point? At least three nights out of the week, we were either going to a tasting, or looking up other caterers. I felt we were getting farther and farther away from our goal of a quality caterer that doesn't break our bank (considering catering is the most expensive item on wedding day).
Finally, after two months of searching, we found our caterer. Love them. Creations by Chef Aaron. Won Best Catering 2009 for Central Florida in The Knot. Great crab fondue, great meat, great pasta station. I think everyone will be pleased. Feel free to check out their website.
www.orlandocateringbychefaaron.com
Aaron is super nice, and I'm very comfortable it will be a great eating experience. Because in the end, isn't that what most guys remember when attending someone else's wedding.
Also, instead of an original wedding cake, we're going to have different varieties and flavors of cupcakes. We're tasting those next. That will be fun! And your nominees are...
www.sweetbyholly.com
www.cupcakecrazyorlando.com
And a third that I can't remember, because I was told about it after being up for 20 straight hours.
So, we're done with our big vendors. Thank God. Now, onto little things that I have no idea about like...
Flowers
Color Theme
Wedding songs
165 days to go.
But who's counting...
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