Hits and Misses

I'm starting a new piece on my blog, called Hits and Misses. My view on what I think works and what doesn't. Think thumbs up/down in the newspaper.

Let me re-phrase...before everyone got their information from the Internet and TMZ, there was this paper periodical called a newspaper. It was thrown on your door, garden or driveway, every morning at 5am by the local kid trying to make $20 or fulfilling his community service requirements. When people actually read this so called "paper", there was a thumbs up/down in the editorial section. People would write in and say things like..."My waitress at Denny's didn't bring me water for ten minutes after I told her I needed a refill...thumbs DOWN!" Well, since I'm the one that writes on this blog, I'll take over duties for hits and misses.

In no particular order...

Hits...The Big Brother Live Feed. A dirty little secret that I watch this. Not the show, but the feed as well. Oh yes, I can turn it on all the time. Watch them gripe about what so and so is wearing, watch the have nots eat slop or watch them stare off into oblivion is more entertaining than you'd think. They are all stuck in a house with no tv or outside communication. Doesn't sound like a barrel of fun (because you can hold something in a barrel other than laughs), but it is. Raise your hands on who doesn't want to be my friend anymore...

Whoa!! You didn't have to raise them that quick...that was hurtful.

Hit...Ale House Fantasy Football Draft Party. For those who don't live in Florida, Ale House is a great sports bar with tons of games and even better food and drinks. If you have your ffdp there, for $20 you get about three pounds of food per person (best Man vs. Food experience I can find so far), which includes wings, mini burgers, loaded fries, onion rings, zingers and a heart murmur. As well as seven pitchers of beer. Great times. Having one there Friday night. Will be fun. Should have a nice spastic colon just in time for...

Hit...Going to another Daytona Beach game this Saturday night. No Belly Buster Monday, though. That's ok. Baseball = good. Another three pounds of food after Friday night's Gorge Fest = Bad.

Hit...More Bristens coming in. We've only had four no's and many more yes's. We're going to have more people than the place can handle, and my Granny might be fighting for a seat, but we should...

What honey???

You're right, that's ridiculous. Granny won't fight for a seat. No, she can't have yours sweet heart. We'll figure it out.

Hit...Angry Birds on the iPhone. I've spent many a hours wasting time flinging birds into the air. At first glance, seems innocent. Look a little harder, and it's slowly addicting. Like The Real Housewives or Puppy Party on Animal Planet. The Man Card Police are knocking on the door, hold on, let me get it.

Misses...Tucker, Kristen's three year old cockapoo, continuously humping me. Whether I'm sitting or standing doesn't matter to him. Why he thinks I'm one of the neighborhood dogs is beyond me. He makes this face like he's so proud of the fact that his pet neutering surgical procedure didn't fully take. I feel you should ask for your money back, honey.

Misses...My apartment complex not waiving the last ten days of my lease while I'm on my honeymoon, and saving me $250. Instead, the day after I come back, I have to stop there and give them my key. Thanks Central Park Apartments.

Misses...Driving on I-4. Always fun to spend a couple hours, everyday, on I-4 when you feel you're driving with other cars that are playing the game, Frogger, weaving in and out of traffic.

Misses...Spanish Pork Roast. I should just get rid of the mindset..."Hey, I've never tried that before, let's give that a whirl." That was my mindset in Publix on Sunday when picking Spanish Pork Roast for deli meat this week for lunch. The smell is so pungent that when I'm done preparing my daily lunch, I have to spray down the countertop, and fridge. Now that it's going on four days, I'm contemplating putting on a HazMat suit with the goggles, gloves and rubber boots, putting up the isolation tent, just so I can prepare another one smellwich. Soon, I'm going to have to re-paint the kitchen walls. I don't know what those Spaniards did to that pig, but it couldn't have been legal in the States.

And finally, the best Hit of all, my brother Kevin and Angela had their first child, Alexis Nola Bachman on Tuesday evening. Healthy baby girl, 8lbs, 3oz. Mom, Dad, and both sets of Grandparents are very excited having been there and taken dozens of pictures at this point. Mom and Dad could probably use some sleep, but I'm sure they'll get some in 2017. I couldn't be more proud of them. I can't wait to see her. Love you guys!