Feed The Beast

Typing this on my "works great as a computer but sucks as a device intended to talk to someone in a different location" iphone4. They make the letters two centimeters apart so with all the corrections, this should take four hours. That's ok. I'm only at work.

"GET TO WORK!!!"

Good to have you back Dad.

I need feedback on something...here comes the Kristen eye roll, which I know so well along with personal favorites, the death stare and "ok...that's your choice" which as guys know means, "ok...that's your choice but plan on sleeping on the couch for the next three nights". Over the last few days, she's heard me complain countless times about at&t. Since i got my No-Phone4 three weeks ago I've lost roughly 30 calls. Has anyone had at&t problems like this? I've called them wanting a new phone under the first 30 day warranty and trying to get them to oblige is comparable to me dunking a basketball right now. They make the rims so high these days.

I did a fantasy football auction draft last night. Instead of picking a guy when it's your turn, you nominate guys and bid on them and you have to do it under a salary cap. Never done auction before and it's pretty fun. Immediately thought this could be an addicting problem. Hopefully not like the 2010 spring edition of fantasy baseball where I drafted 11 teams. You know when you say that out loud, that's pretty embarrassing. Here comes the Kristen eye roll and the part where she questions her sanity for soon marrying into this.

I did do another fantasy football draft last Friday night. We did it at our friend Brandi's house Since I'm the commissioner I had to stand next to the board and write down picks for two hours. Not a problem, except for the fact that my sinuses were partying on my face like it was cinco de mayo. This is the segment of the blog where my parents couldn't be more embarrassed by me (and let's take notice that my Dad blows his nose once every full moon). Friday night there was one point I blew my nose so loud someone commented that I sounded like an elephant. My reply..."I've had allergies for 25 years. You get good at blowing your nose at this point." I'm sorry to everyone who was there and the three year old neighbor's kid two houses down who I inadvertently woke up. My bad! I was waiting for the cops to show up and give me a cease and assist order from the judge. The neighborhood association informed me I'm not welcome back.

My new niece Alexis is now a week old. I'd love to post pictures of her but my now shotgun owning no boy will look at her until she's 26, protective brother hasn't given me permission yet. I can't wait to fly to Cleveland next month to see her. Meanwhile, my mom spent five days there when she was born and they're already looking at real estate. That can't be good for our seven point plan to move the rest of the Bachmans to Florida where it's sunny and warm during the winter, with a splash of steamy and drenching during the summer.

One other thing...

Another addition to the Bachman Family. Everyone say "Hello" to Octavio.

He's my one day old tapeworm. Since I haven't stopped eating today, I've named my culprit. If he stays around long enough, he's going to start asking for a "Plus One" for the wedding. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to "feed the beast" and take a submarine sandwich prisoner.